


It's Always Raining

by sundaymorningloves



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Getting Together, Love Confessions, M/M, Too long to be a drabble, Unbeta-ed, my beta reader is asleep, too short to be a fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-16 10:33:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29080941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sundaymorningloves/pseuds/sundaymorningloves
Summary: Kuroo thinks he ruined their friendship.Kenma thinks he's an idiot.
Relationships: Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Comments: 5
Kudos: 56





	It's Always Raining

**Author's Note:**

> the first half of this has been sitting in my drafts for months. i don't know why i felt the sudden urge to finish it, with bobby's new album as bgm no less.
> 
> also, my beta reader is still asleep so let me know if there are typos or grammatical errors!
> 
> enjoy!

_Falling in love with you is like coming home after a long day._

_Some say red is the color of love. For them, maybe. For me, falling in love with you is all shades of blue. The blue of a perfect, sunny day. With warm skies and a soft breeze. The blue of a rainy, lazy Sunday morning. Softly pattering against the window, cool, comforting. The blue of dusk, tinged with pink as the sky blushes into the night. The blue of a calm ocean. Still, unmoving, holding so much yet giving much more._

_The blue of a thunderstorm. Dark, raging. Drowning some, a respite for others. But comfort, always, to me._

_Falling in love with you was slow. It was gradual. It was the glances thrown your way, the looks that lingered just a second too long. It was all of the steps going everywhere, together. Me, going to you. Walking to you, running to you. It was all of the seconds, minutes, hours, spent doing nothing, everything, together. Every bounce of the ball, every toss, every spike. Every cheer, every tear, every blank look and small smiles._

_It was—is, every word said, and every word left unspoken._

_Falling in love with you was easy. It wasn't something i had to think about. It wasn’t something I had to agonize over. It was easy. It still is._

_But just as slowly, just as gradually, it’s becoming more difficult. I’m trying to hold it in, trying to hold the thunderstorm. It’s spilling out, slowly, and I’m afraid it will burst and drown you and push you away._

_So here I am. Pouring it out so I won’t drown. Pouring it out, hoping I won’t drown you._

_Wade in the water, walk away from it, jump in it. It’s all up to you._

_Love always,_  
_Kuro_

___________

Kenma closes his eyes, as he puts down the paper. 

_Stupid_ , he thinks. _Stupid, stupid, Kuro._

He closes the case of his favorite game—a favorite because it was the first gift he received from a person outside his family. It was Kuroo’s first gift to him, for his birthday, when they were kids. And he can’t, for the life of him, think of why Kuroo would put something as important as this, inside something he knows Kenma does not open on a regular basis.

 _But, he probably did it because he knows how important that game is to me._ Kenma realizes, shaking his head. _Sap._

He took a deep, shaky breath, trying to steady himself. _No. No. It’s over._

Kenma puts the game back in the shelf. He only ever opens that game when it's one of Those Days. Days where he feels weird, off, like the world is just slightly off-kilter. Like he's not exactly sad, but he's not happy either. He wants to do something but nothing can hold his interest. And what makes it That Day is when Kuroo is not there. He would usually know what to do, how to make Kenma feel just a tad bit better. So when he's not there, Kenma defaults to playing this game. It grounds him, holds his interest just long enough for his world to right itself. And then his world will spin once again.

This time though, his world is spinning too fast, and he has to be the one to catch up.

Kenma pockets his phone and sprints out the door, as fast as his lazy legs will take him.

__________

He runs.

He runs and runs and runs until his lungs are burning, and every intake of air feels like breathing fire.

He runs and runs until his legs feel numb, his muscles silently screaming in pain, and every step sends pins and needles to his knees.

He runs and runs until his throat is dry, his body soaked in sweat, and he wanted nothing else but to drown.

_I'm so stupid,_ he thinks. _This is it, this is the end. I ruined everything._

Kuroo runs.

__________

Kenma hands the cabbie more than enough bills to cover for his fare plus tip, but he doesn't really care. He can afford it anyway, and this is an emergency. His sanity, his life, no—his _world_ rests on this.

He knocks.

__________

It's too late in the night but too dark to be called morning, when Kuroo decides to go back. He walks slowly, wanting nothing more than to collapse on his bed but not wanting to go home either. He wants nothing more than to see Kenma, but not wanting to face the disaster he's created.

Kuroo wants a lot of things.

But more than anything, Kuroo just wants Kenma. In any way or form—if not a lover, then a friend. He will take anything he can get.

Kuroo finally gets to his apartment block. He takes a deep breath as he pushes the elevator button to the 5th floor. Door 501. He smiles as he remembers what he thought of, when he first signed the lease for this apartment.

501\. Kenma's high school jersey number was 5, and his was 1. He did not even think twice of signing the lease, taking something as trivial as the apartment number as a sign from the universe. Maybe he was so naive back then—a starry eyed, broke college graduate who's in love with his best friend. He's not as broke anymore, but he is just as in love, if not more, with his best friend.

_And I probably just ruined it,_ he thinks. Kuroo takes a deep breath as he pushes his key into the knob.

He opens the door.

__________

_In my world, it's always dark and raining._

_In my world, it was quiet. Not peaceful, just quiet._

_In my world, I was alone. I was never lonely, despite that._

_And then one day, I saw another pair of eyes. Quietly looking, not quite trespassing, but just looking. Curious, with a slight look of fear mixed in. I looked back, but I did not do anything. The next day, those same eyes were there. Again, not quite trespassing, just looking. Days went on like that. Until one day, there was more curiosity, and no more fear. Curiosity won over, pushing those eyes to do more than just look, but to also take a few tentative steps into my world._

_By then, I figured that those eyes belong to someone who is not evil. So I did not push away, I did not close my world. From then on, slowly, day by day, from being an onlooker, my world made space for a visitor._

_And before I knew it, from being a visitor, my world made space for another person._

_My world opened up. It wasn't as quiet anymore, but ironically it was peaceful. I wasn't alone anymore, but on the days that I am, suddenly I knew what loneliness felt like. I didn't like it. I still don't._

_In my world, it's still raining. Sometimes it's still dark, but mostly it's now light. It's still raining but the skies are sometimes pink, sometimes blue, mostly tinged with rainbows. When you're away, the darkness returns because you bring the light with you. At times it creeps back in, but now I can keep it at bay because you always leave some light for me. If the darkness envelops me, I know to fight it, because you will fight with me._

_In my world, it's always raining. So I'm used to water. Water doesn't scare me._

_This is me, jumping in._

_Fight with me, Kuro. Fight for me._

_-Kenma_

__________

"So?"

Kuroo lifts his head slowly, away from the paper he just finished reading. He's not even sure why he isn't surprised to find Kenma in his living room.

"So...?"

Kenma raises one eyebrow at Kuroo. He takes a few steps towards him, closing the gap between them.

"Fight for me?" Kenma asks.

"Always," Kuroo whispers with a smile as he leans in, the taste of rain on his lips, and the feeling of home in his chest.


End file.
